“I.. SELF REALIZATION”

For those who are reading this for the first time, I shall inform you that this post has been rectified, changed and refurbished as I mentioned last time that with time this post will change and also a friend of mine said that a little restructuring every now and then is always a good idea.

Hello again, well now I know my name and a very small but significant part of the world know my name as well. I am writing this or rather editing this post as with time and place people change and change is the best thing can happen to anyone, provided the fact they are always expecting the change. I sometimes do and sometimes I don’t.

Lets’ see what I am now.

I am still the gullible and vulnerable personality inside who thinks what the world will think about my actions and I still try to befriend every person I meet because I want the world should know me. It is my way of being popular and this even helps me in making a huge network where people say: “How do you know so many people?” and to which I reply, “Because, I talk to randomly anyone and say hello”. I didn’t do this earlier but one day my friend Nikhil said, “What is the harm in smiling and saying hello to everyone who crosses your way? This will bring a smile on their faces and even yours.” I later realized that this habit of smile and hello made me a huge network which is great. But I always try to find people, with whom I can sit and talk, enjoy, drink, laugh and cry. And trust me, there are not many of them as it takes a lot of time and no effort. Shocked to read the last words? Well yes, the bonds and connections never require effort, all they require is quality time and rest is done by the destiny.

I have realized that I am extreme whenever there is anything surprising or happy, if you have met me already or you will meet me in future, you will notice that say, “I cried when I watched that movie or I loved that person or I laughed and rolled on the floor when I heard something funny”. Yes, I’m an extremist when there is something surprising or overwhelming in any sense and I believe this is positive and not an exaggeration! 😉

I always want to be heard and get all the attention. I try to bring everyone into one single network. I mean people never realized it and even I didn’t but a few years back a friend of mine Kanha Arora said: “Dude, you have a quality that you meet so many people and make them meet with others and then they carry along”. I just feel bad when I am left out of that group. I mean who won’t, after making all the efforts and then you are thrown out or walked away.

I still try to be better, to become a better person, better human, and everyone’s favorite human. But it is not consistent. I acquire something good or something bad every day and try to leave the bad and continue with the good aspects but as I said it’s not consistent.

My earlier goal still remains the same, I want a place where the entire world meets and love each other. There shall be no physical or political boundaries. People don’t judge and bitch about each other (Not that I don’t do that but I am still working on it). The reason why I want to do is that I hate being alone and left out and I think there must be others too who have felt the same and I know it sucks. So let me know if everyone shares the same feeling as I do of bringing people together.

I still have that childhood feeling for girls, I want all of them to talk to me because that never happened in my childhood so I want this to run in present and future. It’s good to be around beauty but then I think it is not just about girls, I like everyone around me because it’s good to have people (not that I’m gay or bisexual).

My stage fear is half gone and I want this to be gone completely and one day I just stand in front of the crowd of thousand and speak, dance and sing. I have acquired half of it during my MUNs as people are not left with many choices as they can’t leave when the organizer is speaking, you see! And people do get inspired when I speak so yes I do feel that may be one day I can be a motivational speaker too but for that, I either have to be fucking rich or an acid attack victim or a poor guy or even an entrepreneur will do. So this is going to take time.

Writing has never been my forte since my childhood, I used to hate reading and writing and I still can’t say that I love reading but I read the important stuff. But in last few years when I didn’t write much, I realized that I’m losing oxygen and writing is an emotion, passion and a partner to me. I get inspired for writing with movies, books, music, surroundings, and everything which triggers my hands to be on my laptop.

I have developed the love for traveling but for me traveling is not going to beautiful places, I want to go everywhere, smaller, bigger, everywhere but I didn’t do much, maybe I will do it in future. But I have realized that traveling takes a lot of effort, a lazy person can’t travel. I am lazy at times and sometimes I am all charged up to do and roam around. But that totally depends on what is coming up next.

I have become smart or may be started making efforts in only the things which can be changed or are really important for me. Unnecessary things require a lot of time and efforts and I’m really short of that always!

I feel I can be a standup comedian. I know that nowadays being a comedian is like being an entrepreneur, everyone wants to be one but I’m saying this is because when there is some story or event I want to tell people, I can tell that in such a way which makes it funny and interesting and this has made me realize that I am a better story teller too now.

I try things don’t affect me but they still do because it’s human. If someone is not talking to you or happy or sad with you then the heart will never have peace and triggers the brain and it will be in pain and distress, this is simple biology and chemistry. If you don’t know then you shall read biology and chemistry before judging me! 😛

I have started talking and writing in a way which is little poetic. Not that it rhymes every time but I like it.

I want to be a writer and I keep telling people that I want to be a writer but I couldn’t ever understand the real definition of a writer. I asked my friend Vishal the definition and he said: “Writer is the one whose notes are loved and recommended to other people after reading it”. I told him that I think a writer is the one just writes and liked because some or the other will recommend them. This arrived at a conclusion that everyone who writes and is being liked by even a single person is a writer and hence I proclaim myself a writer now.

I have some dreams and checklist is changed:

• I want to do skydiving
• Skiing
• Paragliding
• Sea Diving
• I want to be a Financial Educationist like Robert T. Kiyosaki
• I want to be that rich who don’t have to think about cash to buy things which can be bought but I will always think if I need that thing before buying it
• Get drunk, laugh and sing on the busy streets, people see me, smile and get annoyed and start dancing with me

Ek Sapna hai Aaj Bhi, people bhi yahi tha, ki jab iss duniya se jau tab koi bhi mujhse naaraz na ho, sab gile shikwe dur kar du uske, kabhi dil se kisi ka bura nahi chahta aur Nikhil bhi bolta hai ki bhai dil ka koi bura nahi hota!

Bas ek khwaish hai: Ki Jab iss duniya main aaya tha tab aansu meri aankhon main the aur khushi sabki aankho main, Upar wale se yahi dua karta hu ki jab jau iss duniya se tab aansu sabki aankhon main aur khushi meri aankho main!

Earlier I wanted to die with a paper and pen in my hand and now I know what I want to write in my last words, I will write: “IT WAS A HAPPY ENDING”! 🙂